/19 Things Being Vaccinated Does NOT Mean, According To Twitter

19 Things Being Vaccinated Does NOT Mean, According To Twitter

Posted 24 minutes ago

Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can experience the epic highs and lows of high school football.

At long last, vaccine rollouts are finally happening. Huzzah!!

The CDC has released guidelines for what people can and cannot do once they’re fully vaccinated. Naturally, Twitter had some great jokes to make about it. Here are some of the funniest “being vaccinated does NOT mean” tweets:

4.

hey PSA: being vaccinated does NOT mean you can invite your friend over for a cask of amontillado sherry, while secretly planning to entomb him within your basement in revenge for a perceived slight

05:09 PM – 07 Apr 2021


Twitter: @noahpsychs

5.

being vaccinated does NOT mean you can start a theme park on an island populated with dinosaurs cloned from dna found in prehistoric mosquitoes, so preoccupied with whether you could that you didn’t stop to think if you should.

06:26 PM – 07 Apr 2021


Twitter: @emmabo

6.

Being vaccinated does NOT mean that you can steal the Declaration of Independence to follow a secret treasure map written on the back while being pursued by a a group of well-funded mercenaries. Please be safe.

02:33 AM – 08 Apr 2021


Twitter: @deannaschwartzz

7.

being vaccinated does NOT mean that you can separate your twin daughters during your divorce and move to napa while your wife moves to london and then never tell your daughters that they have a twin sister AND a living parent, leading to them meeting each other at summer camp…

08:04 PM – 07 Apr 2021


Twitter: @seynique

8.

Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can abandon your family and move to a coastal New England town to find work as a friendly but mysterious bartender, all the while knowing your past is just one step behind you

01:23 PM – 08 Apr 2021


Twitter: @DrakeGatsby

9.

being vaccinated does NOT mean that you can visit the swedish province of hälsingland with your shitty boyfriend and his friends for a once-every-ninety-years midsummer festival, do shrooms, dance, and eventually stuff your boyfriend in a bear carcass and set him on fire

01:25 AM – 08 Apr 2021


Twitter: @showmetheyamz

10.

hey PSA: being vaccinated does NOT mean you can invite all of your friends for a drunken drive through the hills, during which you hit a stranger with your car, toss his body into the ocean, and swear to collectively take that secret to your graves

12:27 AM – 08 Apr 2021


Twitter: @Addison_Peacock

12.

hey PSA: being vaccinated does NOT mean you can take your son into the city to see a marching band and ask him to be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned

09:40 PM – 07 Apr 2021


Twitter: @emonitela

13.

Being vaccinated does NOT mean you and your closest friends can spend the summer at a luxurious country club, participate in a talent show, and ruin Sharpay’s dream of winning the star dazzle award for the 6th year in a row

05:24 PM – 07 Apr 2021


Twitter: @ty_ler_michael

16.

being vaccinated does NOT mean you can go on a road trip across Mexico with your best friend and a Spanish woman you met at a wedding, then betray each other along the way, think about mortality by the beach, and eventually end up in a steamy threesome that tests your friendship.

04:22 AM – 08 Apr 2021


Twitter: @Carlos_Film

17.

being vaccinated does NOT mean you can pretend to be your twin brother, get onto the school soccer team, and have the most popular girl start crushing on you while you yourself fall for your hot roommate

04:07 PM – 08 Apr 2021


Twitter: @gabebergado

19.

And finally:

Being vaccinated does NOT mean that you should leave your swamp with a donkey to save a princess from a dragon

01:23 PM – 08 Apr 2021

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